I said to my mum this weekend, it’s like I have two normals: one at home and my ‘new normal’ abroad. And when these two things collide, the hardest thing is separating them again. Like, when someone visits you, they slot into your new normal whilst feeling totally at ease in their company. However, there comes a time when they must leave, and this ideal feeling of normality goes.
Being on a year abroad means you have to adapt so many things and adapt to so many things very quickly. Also, you have to come to the realisation that this isn’t a holiday, and this is your life now. This means understanding the supermarkets, the public transport, the currency etc etc. It takes time to settle into this ‘new normal’ but when you have a routine, you start to feel more comfortable.
For me, I need a timetable and things to do, otherwise I spend everyday after work sat in my room watching Netflix. Which, at the start, I needed, whilst I was getting used to living here. But now, I feel like I have more normality and know what’s going on from day to day and week to week. For example, I’ve joined a gym, so I know when my fitness classes are. Also, I have been going to a Spanish evening class to keep up my other language during my time here. This class is on Wednesday evenings and I know in the time in between each class, I have my homework to do. Plus, my day off is Friday and, with other assistants in Lübeck, we try to organise day trips and make the most of our free time.
However, there is still a part of you that knows that this isn’t really your life and that the life you’ve had for the last 20 years at home is still going on, just without you. And this is something that I have missed a lot. So, you head home for a weekend or more and everything just slots back into place. This is normal and feels right; as if nothing has changed. But then comes the time to say goodbye and that is the hardest thing, especially after feeling so at home, even for a little while.
The same can be said to happen when you have visitors to see you too. As they represent home and bring you home comforts (for me usually in the form of Cadbury chocolate!). They fit in to your ‘new normal’ and are excited to see your new home. It feels so natural because you have your loved ones fitting into your new life and you feel like they’re coming along for the journey with you. But, the end of the weekend comes, and you must watch them walk through the airport. Saying goodbye is the toughest thing to do. Because you obviously want people to visit you, but ideally you want them to stay forever.
Having two parallel normals is hard. I will not deny that. But (not to sound up myself!) this shows a growth, that I am able to feel normal in both settings. Obviously, I will not be as normal in Germany as I am at home, but I am feeling happy here and enjoying my ‘new normal’.